Healing. Yeah, Healing

I have to talk about this, but bear with me because it just happened on Friday so I’m still processing and reeling some, if I’m being honest…. I’m not sure I can make sense of it in words… but I’m going to try.

First let’s talk about all of the things that we can do to aid and assist in our well being. I talk a LOT about recovery, mental, and emotional health, right? Well, what works for some might be different than what works for others. What is really cool is that as we evolve we might find that to be true even inside our own journey. So for example, therapy worked for me for years. I mean years. It kept me hungry to continue to seek inside my “why I am the way I am.” And there was a lot of growth in that. Though I’m not nearly done with that I’m finding my help in other ways today. Finding myself through energy healing, tarot, and spiritual guidance is nearly knocking my socks off. Yep… my outer princess has found her inner hippie and it’s awwwwsome! Though really, she’s always been there. It is amazing and even that word seems menial. I cannot believe the things I’m learning, how it’s leading to an enormous amount of healing and taking ownership, and how the amount of self awareness, care, and love are exploding. Oh my gosh… I just have no clue how to express that.

I still find crazy importance in keeping my foot inside meetings, surrounding myself with soulful people, the outdoors, yoga, meditation, rest, and reading books for the mind, but there can be absolutely no discounting in what our bodies are built for and designed to do. The energy that our bodies possess is beyond fathomable. I’ve always believed in the law of attraction but what I’m learning about how my own body’s energy can work for itself is mind blowing. I always liked the idea, thought it was cool, but just looked on at it as it would never work for me…. not for my level of crazy. But once I went all in on the belief factor, realized my crazy was not unique, and practiced it with a “there’s no way in can hurt to try” mentality I was astounded by the results, and kind of pissed actually that I didn’t go all in sooner.

What’s so important about not getting stagnant or afraid to try less conventional things is that there is always more to discover. I learned something on Friday that goes hand in hand with something I’ve been working on, is actually a piece of it that I never considered, that literally blew my mind as well as made my path much more clear. Wow! Right?! Different people, different ideas, different methods…. don’t rule anything out. Now, I could also say that you shouldn’t overwhelm yourself. There is such a thing as too much. If what I was doing right now wasn’t along the same plane I might pull back in one area as to make sure I’m getting all the value I can, but in the same breath, I’ll say, don’t limit yourself. What is speaking to me has to do with the sun and the stars, mother nature, self energy, and more. What may speak to you could be meds, bicycling, and going to bed early…. right? So it’s all going to be a myriad of combinations for each of us because we’re all individuals with different stories. What makes us the same is that we should find our combo. It’s important to have one. There isn’t a one of us that shouldn’t be helping ourselves be the very best version of ourselves. Once we’re inside of that journey the outside journey sort of just presents itself.

Can I just tell you that in doing this kind of inside work, making new choices, and really honing in on what has made me feel broken all of these years is making it crystal clear what my life’s work is meant to be. I mean WOW right?!! I’ve always agreed with that being said and suggested to me, but even though the path I have been paving was in fact helping me, it was in being open to less conventional things that truly spoke (dare I say screamed) to me. It fit, it resonated, it glowed, and burned…… inside of me. I cannot express how that makes the recovery evolve… when you find your jam. Fo realz! F*ck… I feel like I’m holding back some how!! It’s so hard to explain. 😮 😉 Gahhh…. I’m in awe of where my life is going. All just for being open, honest, and willing.

I will hope, pray, and channel, always, for you to find this feeling. Don’t ever stop looking for it.

Find me on Facebook and Youtube. And join me in business…. it’s in choosing this line of work that led me to where I’m going. Crazy but true.

 

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Ebb (grrrr) and Flow

Today I was talking with a friend and feeling very frustrated. I originally started with blaming outside things… but no no, worry not… it was and is always me. My frustration stemmed first from my character defects presenting themselves strongly on this particular occasion, which led to then being frustrated that I was unable to keep my defects from surfacing. What a debacle, right?

So let’s talk. Two things come to mind. We are never, not ever, done working to improve ourselves. And two, whenever our panties are in a neat little knot there is a very good chance we are to blame. Damnit! Right? I hear you!

When you’re undoing things from your past, or are in recovery, or are striving for change there is a journey there that we wish had an ending place… at least I do… or that’s how I behave anyway. So here we are undoing behaviors that, for all intents and purposes, are ingrained in us… strongly and hoping that when addressed and counseled just, poof, disappear. If only. The unfortunate truth is that it will probably take just as long to undo as it was actively ugly. SO…. we do things daily to gently remind ourselves to stay the course. Exhausting, no? Well no because it’s better. It just is. Some days it’s just harder. Harder but doable.

If you’re anything like me then you have a very good “forgetter”…. I can ride high for 2 or 3 weeks after a therapy or life coaching session because in those sessions I am reminded that I am not my past, that the work I’m doing is working magic, and I’m on a beautiful path. BUT after a couple few weeks I start to forget if I’m not doing the things that most benefit me, and I’m off… right back into old thinking. Sigh…. It makes me bat shit that it’s still there. I’ll have my wee pity party of why do I even bother if this is where my head is going to go eventually anyway??… And then when the party ends (which usually means telling on myself to a trusted friend) and I get back on course with meditation, work and reading, things miraculously start to look rosier again. What’s that called…. ebb and flow? Yeah, well if I’m being honest… ebb can kiss my ass. Alas, it’s progress not perfection. No shit on that note!

Okay… what was the other thing?? Oh right… It’s me. Dang namnit… it’s always me. Okay, not always, there are some real assholes out there… but mostly, yep, look in the mirror Einstein, your ego and your fear and your laziness are making everything and everyone the bad guy again. Isn’t that rich?? Ego and fear can make me quit, blame, cry, and crazy. Now that is exhausting.

It’s so much more productive and more pleasant to admit what the hell is going on and ask for help. So why is that so impossible? Well crap, because old behaviors are familiar and even comfortable…. sick as it is. It’s easier to feel those old feelings and respond accordingly than it is to keep propelling in the change. It just is. So we do the tug of war dance with our old self, and with what we’ve learned to help and heal us… and we choose. I’m grateful today that my choice, after my dance, always falls on the growth and change side, but it took a lot of time to get here. I still completely suck at allowing myself to get sucked in to the old stuff, but after some hard work, it’s shorter visits there and quicker recovery. In the end I know what to do, how to do it, what led me there, and what the healthier side looks like. I believe with how different things are today that only more good things are to come.

Never stop healing and improving upon yourself. You’re so very worth it.