All that Glitters is not Gold…. Or Maybe it is

I’m going to get back to the ancestral lineage lingo soon, but had to pop on here today to talk about perspective. It just keeps coming up for me this week. I mean, if we’re honest, we’re offered opportunity to shift our perspective constantly. We just might need a gentle reminder, right? Totally.

I think that depending on several things, the way we were conditioned, how we tend to roll, maybe it’s a character defect, maybe we’re happier in the negative, maybe it just doesn’t ever cross our mind, we forget to look at something from a different angle to have a different feeling about it. It’s really quite powerful. It made me think today about how stuck on a given situation I can get just by rolling with the definition I, myself, gave it. Bummer, right? I mean, I so often look at the pros and cons of other people’s situations, yet can get really stuck in my wallowing on my own. What a drag. I vow to become more aware of this.

So yesterday I told my middle two kiddos that they could make some slime. I somehow, someway was convinced that given this specific YouTube video they had seen, that glitter was an absolute must. Sigh. So we made the slime and it was a huge success, texture wise (I don’t know if you have kids that like making slime but it is not an exact science and many attempts are usually required), but it has glitter in it. That should really be enough said, but just in case you’re not aware, just by owning a bottle of glitter, just by it being in your house, you will start to find specs of it everywhere. Never-freaking-mind applying it somewhere, having had the bottle open. So, yes it’s in the slime, and it’s really sort of cool BUT it’s also EVERYWHERE!!! Floor, couches, coffee tables, my shoulder, my cheek, on the books, and in the bathroom. You catch my drift, right? It’s like herpes, it spreads everywhere.

So, I voiced my frustration on Facebook, and was presented with the idea that instead of looking at it like the most giant nuisance on the planet, and something you would only wish on your worst enemy, to rather look at it like it’s decorating your life, reminding you to sparkle and of your childhood craft projects. WHAT? Brilliant! It, literally, immediately made me smile and look at the whole thing differently. I am all about a little sparkle.

Let’s look at where else this can apply… ummm ery where!! Grocery store line. Is the line moving slow or are you supposed to have time to respond to that text message to your son? Hunh? Is is rush hour or do you have a few extra minutes to finish that conversation with your husband while you inch along? Ya dig?

I’ve had an enormous opportunity to apply perspective lately with my work. Am I failing at it or do I simply not have any interest in that field at all? That’s a blog post all on it’s own… but my point is that we can get stuck. Literally stuck on a line of thinking that can really affect us negatively when, almost always, there’s going to be another way to look at it. The best possible way to look at it is from a place of you. How do you need to look at this to make it okay? And if it makes it okay for you, is it right? So another words are you making excuses, justifications, staying stuck in old patterns? Or if you’re okay with it is it because you’ve really looked at it and without pause it’s just not your jam?

I know for me that I must look at my part in it and decide if I’m running from something. I must talk it over with the hubs and, with complete humility, come to an answer. And then look at it from an angle of providing for and happiness…. for me the two must go hand in hand. And then own it… no matter what it looks like, owning that shit. As long as what I’m seeking comes from a place of authenticity and pursuit and not giving up then owning it is easy.

Look at things today through a lens that works for you… your lens, analyze it briefly to be sure that it’s a healthy lens, and then go with it proudly. Perspective is a choice, one that can hinder or help you, but always look at things through more than one lens…. perspective. It makes things better. It just does.


What No One Sees

Can we get honest here for a minute… (you know… sort of my MO) about parenting and running a household… and in recovery… Damn… I’m no martyr but shit is hard and I’m whooping it’s ass! Well, mostly and sorta kinda. Some days are darker than others but the sun always comes out eventually. If I’m going to preach honesty, though, allow me to say that parenting and doing life sober is tough as shit!

So let’s talk about the stuff that no one ever sees. The dishes, the dust bunnies, the random toys, crafts, school art projects, clothes, coats, shoes, bags, mail, groceries… ALL of the shit has to find a home inside our homes, right? That in and of itself is a conquest. Oh yes it is. Apparently I also believe in aiming low at some things as to have plenty of celebrations in my life. ๐Ÿ˜€ You’ll find I have a lot of those areas. Aim for mediocrity as to create less work. Ugh… but a little true. So, yeah, where’s my medal for finding a home for little tiny clothes pins that my daughter thought she just had to have to do a project. Or what about the ONE MILLION Legos that my boy children think are never enough. The struggle is real, ya’ll. Why do you think that there are thousands of organizational receptacles and professions geared towards such? Because that shit’s hard.

Do not get me started about cooking. Again, aim low, friends. Saves you an enormous amount of time. I joke, but last night when I made rice noodles, popcorn chicken, and strawberries, presented it to my child on a paper plate and he said, “whoa… it’s like a five star restaurant” you feel good inside. ๐Ÿ˜€ I think cooking takes up an enormous amount of time, because not only do you need to prep, cook, plate, and clean up, but then you need to beg and barter with some of your children for upwards of a half hour to even put a piece of said meal in their face hole. Where’s my medal for not shoving it down their face hole at least 3 times a week? I like to cook. The way I’ve parented around food and the way my kids eat has made me hate to cook. Meal time…. that shit’s hard.

Wanna dish about laundry for a hot minute?? I somehow, someway, one day found my groove thang but for years upon years the laundry made it to the washer and the dryer and that was it. I spent years picking out clean clothes for the kids to wear from a mixed up basket of everyone’s things, swearing the entire time about what bull shit laundry was, throwing it in the dryer to get the wrinkles out and handing it over to them to get ready for school. Yep, years. She who keeps such a tidy house… well, don’t ever open the laundry room closet… it was a hurricane…. the opposite of tidy. Now I try to dry, fold and the kids put away. It’s an every other day thing and I completely hate it because there is nothing not time consuming about it, but I find the time and make it snappy. Now there’s still a gigantic basket of socks on top of the dryer that they fend for themselves for daily because ain’t noooo body got time for that crap.

Homework and work work…. C’mon, who’s with me on this?? I work from home which is a complete luxury, I do not ever take this for granted, but working around the door bell, the pop ins, the littlest one needing to eat, play, have a therapy sesh or bathe, and phone calls… gooood grief, it can feel like I’ve worked a 15 hour day some days because I’m squeezing in actual work that I get paid for in between the work that I don’t. And then… AND THEN the big kids get home from school with more work that they need my help working on! Jeeeesus! Where’s my gold frickin medal damnit?!! That shit’s hard.

Ah… raising a baby with special needs. Let’s chitty chit chat about that. First I must mention the near or total PTSD that comes with the intense fear of having a baby that is struggling to stay with you in the beginning. I can’t pretend to explain that fully. It’s beyond terrifying and horrible. The tests that they put the teeniest tiniest little being through, the waiting for the results from those tests, those tests not resulting in a diagnosis, the waiting for a diagnosis. Oh my lands…. it’s all impossible to bear. Then comes the diagnosis…. but not before an insane amount of medical intervention just so your child can live on… The processing of the diagnosis… hearing it for the first time, the research, the tears, the emotion. Oy vey! Just that. No words. After the diagnosis you hear things like, “utilize your resources.” Do you know what that has meant for us? Geneticists, surgeons, multiple pediatricians, dietitians, endocrinologists, physical therapists, speech therapists, orthopedists, specialists, xray techs, annnd injections…. daily…. since he was 4 months old. Whew!!! And that’s all so that he can live a “typical” life. Worth it? Totally… balls out totally worth it. He’s amazing and has made me a better person. He’s hilarious and generous with his love. He’s a little piece of heaven here on earth and I’m blessed to be his momma, through and through. Doesn’t change the fact that he is completely high maintenance and time consuming. That’s what we’re talking about here. Fitting all of life into life. A huge part of my day is being a good momma to this needy little love. That shit’s hard.

Staying emotionally fit, spiritually fit, and sober (I disclude physically fit because I’ve yet to wrangle that one). Now there’s some monsters right there! My answer for everything used to be to throw a bottle of wine at it. No joke. Let me just get through this here day and top it off with a couple of bottles (or box… not picky) of vino. That worked for a while but it’s very, very difficult to grow into yourself emotionally or spiritually when you’re numbing yourself with the sauce. And those other things became important to me. Okay okay so it wasn’t as profound as all that… I had to hit a rock solid bottom that had a couple of trap doors, and I had to hit it hard. Really really face plant. But what came from that was a seeking for spiritual and emotional growth that has changed my life. But that, my friends, that shit is hard. Freaking, freaking hard. Living life on life’s terms and not my bottle’s? Not even in the realm of easy. Meetings, therapy, energy work, reading, studying, praying, writing, talking and doing. That in and of itself could fill up a day. Sober is hard if your body and mind have a different plan. Fighting that shit is tough, but possible and beautiful. Freaking amazing really.

So this is getting long for me so let’s wrap it up… what have we discovered here?? That choose a topic, choose a life task and break it down. Just doing that one thing well could straight fill up a whole day, right? I’ve talked about this before in reference to balance but I just want to be really clear here. Doing life on it’s terms, with any sort of grace is a full throttle lot to ask. And we do it. We do it. Some days we knock that shit out of the damn park and some days we’re lucky that the house is still standing, but I guess that’s my point. We need to be gentle with ourselves. There is nothing about life in general that is easy and doing it even a titch well is big, often really big and really heavy. But we’re doing it. We’re learning about ourselves, trying extra hard to see that our children won’t need therapy later in life (or rather working really hard to help pay for their therapy later in life), and deciding at the end of each day how we might be a wee bit better tomorrow. It’s really all it’s really about…. not being better than anyone else, but better than the person we were the day before. That’s it. If you’re anything like me, it really helps to dumb that shit down that way. If I’m not trying to complete never ending lists, or achieve things that aren’t ready for me yet, or or or, but rather just aim to be a little better than I was yesterday it all seems a little more doable and a little less daunting. And in this here little world we live in that is full up of bull shit hard living… that is enough. You are enough. Say that today and everyday until you believe it. The rest will fall into place.

Total Eclipse of the Energy

I think it only fair that we talk about the eclipse that’s happening today… Everyone is all cray cray. As they should be… It’s a big deal, right? I mean, something that only happens once in a lifetime (for the most part) is a pretty big (gigantic) deal.

There is the visual perspective for sure. It’s going to change the light of day and confuse the birds and the bees. That’s amazing

There’s the science of it all. Which I won’t pretend to know too much about, just that it’s incredible the way all of the planets move, revolve, and coordinate with each other to allow us something to study and problem solve and then be amazed by. My kids have thoroughly enjoyed learning about this day since school began.

But let’s talk about the part that I’m so enthralled by. How all of this affects our body, our energy, our emotions, and how that affects our life. Eclipses as a whole solidify an energy in the air for an extended period of time after the fact. The eclipse occurs at a “hotspot” of Leo energy where the star Regulus resides. I’m telling you this because Regulus is a warrior star that has a headstrong and righteous energy to it. Because this inspired energy can guide you, it’s important to help the energy rather be guided by you. Really understand this. Be intentional.

The warrior energy will solidify an inspiration in everyone. The conviction, headstrong energy and electric thinking can power people for all their greatness but could also be interpreted to lead to chaos as well. Hence the importance for awareness. The eclipse will instill fire and electricity in people, warrior energy that will inspire good/bad, clear minded and confused. Be intentional.

For example, in all of my energy work this month “burn” and “fire” have come up a lot. A LOT. Burning away past selves or a fire being lit inside of me to pursue my passions, for examples. So to utilize the eclipse with intention I am going to ritualize burning a piece of paper with all of the things that I am ridding myself of written on that paper. I’m going to do that before 2pm today as an offering to the eclipse to set those things in motion of leaving me for good. I trust that the energy held in place from the eclipse for months to come will be that of blossoming in the positive, having rid the negative.

I realize that not everyone buys into this line of thinking. I can respect that. But I would ask what the harm would be in lassoing some of your energy up to give over to a “what if?” I mean, it’s just a thought of goodness or positivity to test the waters so to say. Channel the eclipse with intention and maybe, just maybe you see a shift in your life. Certainly can’t hurt to try. At this time in this country it sure couldn’t hurt to have a whole lot of people sending an energy filled message up to the stars to have the eclipse energize and send back to us in the form of righteous healing. Just think about it. That’s all I’m asking.

I hope your day is wonderful. For this time in our life is precious, important, monumental. Something like an eclipse that only happens once every 99 years makes this day a whole lot of very special. Take that in and harness it. Be present, be amazed, be amazing.

Healing. Yeah, Healing

I have to talk about this, but bear with me because it just happened on Friday so I’m still processing and reeling some, if I’m being honest…. I’m not sure I can make sense of it in words… but I’m going to try.

First let’s talk about all of the things that we can do to aid and assist in our well being. I talk a LOT about recovery, mental, and emotional health, right? Well, what works for some might be different than what works for others. What is really cool is that as we evolve we might find that to be true even inside our own journey. So for example, therapy worked for me for years. I mean years. It kept me hungry to continue to seek inside my “why I am the way I am.” And there was a lot of growth in that. Though I’m not nearly done with that I’m finding my help in other ways today. Finding myself through energy healing, tarot, and spiritual guidance is nearly knocking my socks off. Yep… my outer princess has found her inner hippie and it’s awwwwsome! Though really, she’s always been there. It is amazing and even that word seems menial. I cannot believe the things I’m learning, how it’s leading to an enormous amount of healing and taking ownership, and how the amount of self awareness, care, and love are exploding. Oh my gosh… I just have no clue how to express that.

I still find crazy importance in keeping my foot inside meetings, surrounding myself with soulful people, the outdoors, yoga, meditation, rest, and reading books for the mind, but there can be absolutely no discounting in what our bodies are built for and designed to do. The energy that our bodies possess is beyond fathomable. I’ve always believed in the law of attraction but what I’m learning about how my own body’s energy can work for itself is mind blowing. I always liked the idea, thought it was cool, but just looked on at it as it would never work for me…. not for my level of crazy. But once I went all in on the belief factor, realized my crazy was not unique, and practiced it with a “there’s no way in can hurt to try” mentality I was astounded by the results, and kind of pissed actually that I didn’t go all in sooner.

What’s so important about not getting stagnant or afraid to try less conventional things is that there is always more to discover. I learned something on Friday that goes hand in hand with something I’ve been working on, is actually a piece of it that I never considered, that literally blew my mind as well as made my path much more clear. Wow! Right?! Different people, different ideas, different methods…. don’t rule anything out. Now, I could also say that you shouldn’t overwhelm yourself. There is such a thing as too much. If what I was doing right now wasn’t along the same plane I might pull back in one area as to make sure I’m getting all the value I can, but in the same breath, I’ll say, don’t limit yourself. What is speaking to me has to do with the sun and the stars, mother nature, self energy, and more. What may speak to you could be meds, bicycling, and going to bed early…. right? So it’s all going to be a myriad of combinations for each of us because we’re all individuals with different stories. What makes us the same is that we should find our combo. It’s important to have one. There isn’t a one of us that shouldn’t be helping ourselves be the very best version of ourselves. Once we’re inside of that journey the outside journey sort of just presents itself.

Can I just tell you that in doing this kind of inside work, making new choices, and really honing in on what has made me feel broken all of these years is making it crystal clear what my life’s work is meant to be. I mean WOW right?!! I’ve always agreed with that being said and suggested to me, but even though the path I have been paving was in fact helping me, it was in being open to less conventional things that truly spoke (dare I say screamed) to me. It fit, it resonated, it glowed, and burned…… inside of me. I cannot express how that makes the recovery evolve… when you find your jam. Fo realz! F*ck… I feel like I’m holding back some how!! It’s so hard to explain. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ ๐Ÿ˜‰ Gahhh…. I’m in awe of where my life is going. All just for being open, honest, and willing.

I will hope, pray, and channel, always, for you to find this feeling. Don’t ever stop looking for it.

Find me on Facebook and Youtube. And join me in business…. it’s in choosing this line of work that led me to where I’m going. Crazy but true.


Get Out of Your Own Way

I work for a company that is unconventional. I think in some people’s minds that equals not legitimate… and that pisses me off really. I know that there were several schemes in the past. And I know that there are still some real scum bag people out there trying to put one over on you. But when someone decides that an opportunity is not legitimate because it asks you to invest in yourself, I get angry. Because here’s the thing… If you aren’t willing to investย in aย business that you are fortunate enough to own and run yourself then you’re basically saying that you don’t believe in yourself enough to go for it. I know this is controversial, I get it, but the truth is is that there is a whole bunch of naivete in thinking that someone will gift you a business for nothing. That would be awesome… I mean for sure. But very unrealistic. When you think about the way in which businesses are changing and what it actually costs to run a brick and mortar store front, the investment asked of us is small potatoes. The other way my ever positive mind works is, “what’s being out a bunch of money in comparison to what if it works?” Does that make sense? Safety is overrated. I’d rather take a huge gamble on myself and potentially make magic happen than live in a bubble of safe ‘what ifs.’ Any day of the week.

Hundreds of thousands of stores closed last year because of the way that shopping online is growing. And because online shopping continues to grow so does the need for online marketing as well as the need for technological education. Enter Network and Affiliate marketing. I know several, if not hundreds, of people personally who have had massive success running their businesses from home with these styles of businesses. And what’s not to love if it “actually works.” The ever quoted “laptop lifestyle,” work from home, spend more time with your family, improve your lifestyle, get out of debt… too good to be true, right? Ahhhhhh NO. It’s attitude. It’s mindset. It’s willingness. It’s understanding the way these businesses work and having patience. It’s understanding that some people do in fact get rich quick but that is not the promise going in. It’s understanding that even though it’s all of those awesome things listed above, it’s also equal parts hard work and positive attitude.

What I can promise is if you give something like this a try, you will find yourself in a way that no office job could ever offer. These businesses force you to get out of your comfort zone and grow in the same way going to therapy would. There’s enormous power in being surrounded by like minded people who are basically saying, “here, copy me on everything I’ve ever done, but find your niche, do it with your flare, and get successful too.” They’re selling you how they did it in a business in a box. They did all the hard work, found out what worked, and then wrapped it all up in an awesome little package that they ask you to invest in. It’s good business. It’s personal. You take the education piece and then fit it in around your business style and personality, you include the bits that are important to you, take what you need and leave the rest. But what is usually left, if you do the work, is a mighty nice income stream, inside an awesome business model, that you were gifted by investing in yourself. And molding that self into more than you ever imagined. I’m not joking… I’m doing Affiliate Marketing but in the course of doing so have found a platform for sharing on the things that I’m most passionate about. That is awwwwwsome, inexplicably powerful, life changing, relationship changing, and worth every single penny I’ve ever invested.

I love sharing about what it is I’m doing. This done-for-you, automated system is exactly everything I was hoping it would be and more. I’m able to attend all of my youngest’s appointments for his special needs, all of my children’s school and sports commitments, spend time with my husband and my friends, and most importantly do the things for me that equal my ability to do all of the above…. yoga, meditation, and more. Please feel free to look for me on Facebook, follow me here or on YouTube, check out my business link, or all of the above. The absolute best part of what I do is sharing it with others… telling people how they could change their lives too.

Check This Out

I might pop on here later today too, but HAD to do a post just for this Masterclass. Part of how I am able to share the way I do with the mindset that I have is because of finding a company and business that allows me the time and money freedom to do so.

So much on my mind today!!… All of it brilliant of course ๐Ÿ™‚ but mainly I would like to suggest something to you. Many people message me daily to ask what it is I’m doing now… and I’ll tell you what I tell them… tune into a webinar or a masterclass, because you cannot help but get excited about what is possible! It’s contagious and thrilling at the possibilities that start jumping around in your mind.

Since joining SAN many things have happened in mine and Jay’s little world and it’s ALL amazing! The financial piece has freed up the worry piece to then focus on the growing piece. I swear…. It’s showing me things I didn’t know I was looking for. So if you’re looking too then please check this out. I promise you’ll get value out of it at the VERY least…. but maybe… just maybe change your life too. Register and add this to your calendar for Friday.


Be Authentically You

I wish I could clearly explain what it means to your vision of wholeness when you connect with someone who helps you find the very best version of yourself. I’m so blessed to have that in my husband, but also in finding a goddesspreneur who has helped me to express myself and live my truth authentically. For far too long I lived with masks because I let my interpretation of what society expected guide me. It was realized this week that I’ve finally come into my own. My home. My spirit. My truth. I’ve been living it for quite some time but to actually realize it and remembering witnessing its birth…. well, it’s more than monumental. It’s changed me. Yes, the change, but realizing you’re in it, that you did that (with enormous help), and that what once felt impossible is now in living color…. well, Whoa!! Just whoa.

After my perfectly poignant tarot reading the other day, I was gifted the following tarot experience in a private message. I’m sharing it here in its fullness because I think it’s so important for all of us to realize. I am finally at a place on my spiritual and emotional journey that this is how I live currently. BUT it wasn’t always the case (and still need reminding). I once felt lost and hopeless. I was broken and had all but given up. My message is clear in this matter and in relation to my last post (another words a very important message that can’t be mentioned often enough) is to don’t ever give up. Whatever image you hold in your mind for your life, your well being, your future, you can hold in your hand, your heart, your life. I promise. Just by not giving up.

TAROT ย DREAM COME TRUE- Your dreams are coming true because you stayed true to your hearts desire.

Time for you to relax and take in all of the amazing events that have happened to you over the last year or so. Look back and contemplate how fast things shifted for you when you made the decision to be true to yourself and to listen to the call of your soul (WOW). Your dreams are of your soul. Your dreams are unfolding faster than ever before. Congratulations for staying true to yourself, for believing in your dreams, and for overcoming all obstacles that were in your path. This card comes to you today to remind you to keep moving forward toward the life of your dreams. It has not been an easy journey, but you are finally beginning to see how everything is connected and how all of the adversity that you faced was a part of you facing your fears and learning new ways to handle your challenges. You have made sacrifices, you have taken risks, you have faced and overcome many trying times, and you never gave up. Do not forget to take note of all that you have been through to get to this moment in time. You are learning that intention and faith combined can move mountains (WOW). When you come up against a period of slow movement, it is important for you to remember all that you have accomplished. Your dreams are unfolding because you believed in the impossible. Remember how you got here and use this information to remember all that you have accomplished. Your dreams are unfolding because you believed in the impossible. Remember how you got here and use this information to create even more beautiful possibilities for yourself.

Words they couldn’t emphasize enough…. remember, believed, accomplished, dreams, overcome, forward, possibilities.

Sigh….mmmmm… please believe this for yourself. If you aren’t where you want to be, you can be. You can be.


Today I want to talk about mindset. And I’ll tell you why… I’m struggling right now with mine. Not officially, as I always know what to do, emotionally, I’m just not always equipped to do what to do. :p Enter pesky depression that I have talked so much about. I’m steering clear of full throttle depression for the last several months but it teases me a little bit every once in a while.

So, for the most part, I’m the annoying girl that is always insisting that something isn’t so bad, here’s the silver lining, what can you learn from that, stay positive because that breeds more positive. You know, the girl that you don’t want to talk to if you’re looking to celebrate your pity party. Right? I mean I’m really a broken record about it all. It is what I believe at the core of me. (Here’s the dreaded) BUT sometimes, sometimes my day to day real life reality, self doubt, and fear take over and allow me to flail a little bit. I suppose there’s a piece of that that helps me to grow, gives me an opportunity to break a cycle, not repeat a pattern, and practice what I preach, BUT sometimes it’s harder than I would like it to be.

So, for example, we weren’t approved for a new car loan. Now, my positive mindset would say, how incredible is it that you would have even thought that you had come so far, that your credit was improved so much that you could get a car, that the last few years you had your shit so much together that you thought you could get a new car?? That’s amazing!! But instead I was a hot mess of feeling embarrassed, like a failure, extreme disappointment, and just overall pooooor me. Ugh, right? I mean, my current vehicle doesn’t have air conditioning and it is miserable. How can I be expected to keep driving such nonsense? What a brat! I mean, it’s a car, it gets me where I need to go. Everyone should be so lucky. See what I’m talking about here? Grateful but moody. I’m a mess.

Another example is that I’m not where I want to be with my business. I can often let fear stop me from getting there. I can go as dark as thinking that if I’m not where I want to be then I probably don’t have what it takes to get there. That’s bullshit. I know this and yet fear strangles me all the same. Enter feelings of envy, inadequacy, and wanting to quit. Again… thee bullshit! That’s just me talking myself into taking the easy way, the old pattern way, the hey if I don’t try then I can’t fail way. Gross. Get to work, woman.

Here’s what I’m trying to say…. Don’t stop believing in yourself. Don’t ever stop. That’s one of the only things I can confidently say about my journey. I never, ever quit all the way or forever. I’ve tried. I’ve come close but at the end of the day, the one thing I can say in terms of being a success is that I never, ever stop getting up. That is enough some days. You know those days? When it’s enough that your kids had three meals and you didn’t burn one of them ย (the meals, not the kids)? :p Yep, some days that’s all I’ve got. But on a very good day, I educate myself on myself, I work hard on my business, I enjoy my children instead of wanting to strangle them, ๐Ÿ˜‰ I practice self care, I try to give back, and I eeek my way back to my positive line of living. It isn’t easy. Shit, life is full of a crap ton of responsibilities, some drama if you fall victim, hardships, and hurt. It’s important to process all of it, and we all may have different ways of doing that, but if, in the end, you come full circle back to you then you’ve done it right. Whatever that looks like for you specifically then you’ve done it right. My fear of failure and hardwork combined lol keeps me working hard but I do. I must.

When I first began recovery I absolutely hated some of the continuous sayings being flung at me. I hear them so differently now that I have a little bit of wellness under my belt. “This too shall pass.” WHAT?? Did you not hear me? I’ve got a major, real life problem right here, right now! I don’t need you sweeping it under the rug with some air quotes. Maaan! Now when I hear this very saying, this too shall pass, it gives me encouragement. It’s a relief. Nothing is forever. Whatever is disastrous, trying, or miserable will not ever remain in it’s current state forever. That’s amazing and a huge relief. Right?! Things being in constant motion allows us endless opportunities to practice how best to respond, react, and deal with what is presented to us. What a relief of a perspective. I’m never doomed. I never just have the worst luck. I’m not always stuck. I get to pave my path AND how I’m going to perceive it. Sometimes I do those things beautifully, sometimes hideously…. the point is that I’m doing it. I’m sometimes sailing over to the other side and sometimes clawing my way, but I will always arrive. Arrive. Any way you can. It’s going to be ok.

Fear Can Kiss Off, Choose Love

I was at a speaker meeting a long time ago and I heard something, that at the time, I thought was so freaking profound. It moved me completely! I have thought about it a lot and, when I allow myself to be conscience of it, try to live by. This is what this speaker said, “there are only two emotions, love and fear, and when I’m living my life by that thought, things get better, one day at a time.” They went on to speak a little more on that but let’s you and I talk about it. I love this idea. I wish we could all find a little bit of this. The world would look very different.

We are born with love. It is innate. It is in our nature, almost always, to veer in the direction of goodness. It is in the process of living and learning by outside sources that fear becomes ingrained in us. Still, where there is love, there cannot be fear. And where there is fear, there cannot be love.

Every emotion is but a subcategory to love and fear. It is in discovering the source that we determine where we stand. But it is safe to say that if we are sitting in judgement, anger, resentfulness, sadness, or depression we are dealing with fear. While if we’re in a state of peace, serenity, joy and the ability to forgive we are dealing with a state of love.

There is a bottom line and that is choice. Yep, the C word. We have a choice, every single day to decide what our attitude towards the things that challenge us are. Or the things that fill us up… how we respond to those things. See, giving and showing gratitude amplify love. Offering forgiveness, even silently, amplifies love. Showing compassion, understanding, or saying a prayer for someone you do not like amplifies love. So, what I’m saying is that replacing typically titled fear behaviors with loving actions will almost completely diminish fear.

It’s something to really consider. It takes practice, like anything, but it is well worth it. Because, let’s face it, life offers enough storms that we have to maneuver, practicing our behavior around them changes every dynamic of getting to the other side of it. Fear will only emphasize the problem and make it longer and harder to get through. And that’s the minimum of the negativity around fear. Putting love, understanding and acceptance around it will diminish it, change it, require less energy, and let’s face it, emphasize feelings of love.

I wish I could explain the power in replacing fear with love. I mean how I feel praying for someone who I absolutely resent is so much more peaceful than harboring that negative emotion of disdain. So much more. Forgiving the person who flips me off in busy traffic is so much more calming than thinking continuous retaliating thoughts. Understanding that my boss has other frustrations taking place and that his attitude towards me, though unkind, doesn’t have anything to do with me. Those are all choices. That took practice. That allow my life to be filled up with love.

There is also an element of faith that is involved. I had faith that if I chose to live in love and not fear that my life would improve. I’m pleased to say that faith remains. Nothing is an exact science, and there will always (and I mean always) be bumps in the road, but when choosing a practice, something to practice…. love and positivity will always be a good choice…. the winning choice.

I’ll touch on this pertaining to work really quick because although I believe that all of the above enter into work too I wanted to be specific. Life is too short to be unhappy, fearful, stick to what feels safe, and worry about what others think. It’s a cliche saying, Life is too short, but really think about this for a sec…. We can either get busy living or get busy dying and I can tell you, straight up, that I did not get sober and healthy to make somebody else rich, pay bills, and die. So throwing fear and the need for safety to the wind is the answer. It just is. Living for weekends and vacations is not living. There’s more. I’m just saying, there’s more. If you love what you do then awesome! I mean truly… that is awesome! It’s so important. But if you’re not then make a change. It’s that whole choice piece that I talked so much about above. Negativity is a choice. But thank goodness so is positivity. Go with that one.