Beyond Reiki

The power of finding your calling. I mean, it’s a real thing. My passions are many, and man do they run the gamete… How does one decide what they’re supposed to spend their entire life doing when that’s the case? In all honesty I’m really struggling with this. It’s a luxury problem for sure, but pinpointing what you want to pursue as to help the masses but also make good business decisions… It’s confusing. I’m confused.

I received my first Reiki (energy healing) treatment about 15 years ago and was immediately moved. I think partying and insecurity surely got in my way of pursuing it back then, but it definitely impacted me. I’ve thought about it since but again, the timing must not have been right to look into it further. Which leads me to about 3 weeks ago…. I had an energy session done that I’m still thinking about. I was sure, then and there, that energy work is absolutely something that I’m supposed to be doing. And it was like a weight off in a sense. A massive “Ah Ha” moment! This is what speaks to me. This is my destiny. I am in constant aww as to what our bodies are capable of and have witnessed first hand the power in the hand… our body’s energy. I sigh at this. It moves me.

Heeeere’s where I get caught up though… Grrrrr…. I sometimes will not relinquish control and just give it over to the skies to decide… and start thinking too damn much. I go right into, “what about affiliate marketing? I like that. It’s definitely helping me pay the bills. It’s easy. Okay, yes, I’ll keep doing that. Totally.” Then I start spinning about how much I desire giving a voice to depression, eating disorders, alcoholism, raising a child with special needs, and branding myself as a writer and author online. I so much want to help people in those areas, somehow… someway. BUT I get very overwhelmed very fast about what that entails, because, if I’m being honest, there is a LOT of things I have yet to learn to get that up and running. THEREin lies my fear. Is not knowing what I need to know my excuse for not moving forward? And is it because of fear of failure or success, OR am I really just that lazy and expectant to have things just fall in my lap? Seeeeriously….

Ugh… welcome to my brain. I want to be fulfilled but don’t really want to work to be so. Noooo, that’s not it. Time… it’s time. I don’t have enough time to sit and learn and watch and read and study. Nooo, that’s not it. Mindset… it’s my damn mindset. I doubt myself too much, am sure that I will make past mistakes, and don’t trust that people want to hear what I have to say. Hmmmm…. that could be it a little bit. Crap. Fear… surely it’s fear. Success or failure will bring with it change and other unknown emotions that are, well, unknown. So, yeah, fear is underlying there I imagine, almost for sure.

So let’s talk about these things and how they can screw up any chance of success and service to others you dream about. Pleasant thought, right. Well….. I swear, in all of my reading and research the thing that keeps coming up, of late, is past conditioning. What a crap hand to be dealt. I mean, I am so conditioned that shit hits the fan or I quit or I fail or that change will hurt others that I have been stuck in a spiral of not succeeding for all my life. Can you believe that? Yes, I know, I’m an adult, I am responsible for myself and actions of today. Totally agree. Doesn’t change the fact that knowing why and what isn’t completely necessary to move forward. So much of our self sabotaging comes from a subconscious place and we can’t acknowledge until we understand it. So that is one of my main focuses today. How did I get here and how, on a conscious level, do I address it? It’s helping, working.

Being a positive person is brilliant. I can find the positive side to almost any situation at all times. It’s a thing, a gift maybe, but we’re talking surface. It is easy for me to be positive on the surface. What I see and feel I generally understand and can get positive around all the time and eventually. It’s the silent, underneath chatter that is keeping me stagnant. So even though I might be saying one thing, in all it’s upbeat and positive glory, at the exact same time, underneath and subconsciously I’m saying, “nope, not me, I can’t, I never have, now isn’t any different, I will always……” Imagine. But that’s a real thing for me. It’s not intentional, in fact, it sucks balls, but my subconscious is strong and not going down without a fight. I do fight it and believe that my conscious fight will win for sure, but it takes consistency. My mindset is strong and very determined, knows what it wants and knows ways to change it. It’s only a matter of time before I kick old conditionings ass completely into oblivion. It’s getting weaker so anytime now really.

Fear is a straight pain in the ass thing. It presents itself in all sorts of different ways and is very sneaky at that. If I can continue to turn my fear of hard work, failure or success, and what is yet to come into love… love of life, prosperity, and myself well then the world just completely opens up. I’m tired. I’m tired of the way things “used to be.” My passions are too great to be stifled. I believe that my path will be laid out before me, I just need to stay the course, stay positive, fill full up with love, and keep doing the work. I have so much to give and only want to do just that.

What are some ways you propel yourself out of stagnation? Today I’m staying consistent. I’m filling my mind with mind reading and positive affirmations. If there’s one thing I preach it’s consistency and fake it till you make it. I will affirmation myself into believing through. It’s a real thing.

If there’s one thing I know for sure and witness all of the time it’s that if your mindset is working for you and not against you, you can truly move mountains. Believe.


Fear Can Kiss Off, Choose Love

I was at a speaker meeting a long time ago and I heard something, that at the time, I thought was so freaking profound. It moved me completely! I have thought about it a lot and, when I allow myself to be conscience of it, try to live by. This is what this speaker said, “there are only two emotions, love and fear, and when I’m living my life by that thought, things get better, one day at a time.” They went on to speak a little more on that but let’s you and I talk about it. I love this idea. I wish we could all find a little bit of this. The world would look very different.

We are born with love. It is innate. It is in our nature, almost always, to veer in the direction of goodness. It is in the process of living and learning by outside sources that fear becomes ingrained in us. Still, where there is love, there cannot be fear. And where there is fear, there cannot be love.

Every emotion is but a subcategory to love and fear. It is in discovering the source that we determine where we stand. But it is safe to say that if we are sitting in judgement, anger, resentfulness, sadness, or depression we are dealing with fear. While if we’re in a state of peace, serenity, joy and the ability to forgive we are dealing with a state of love.

There is a bottom line and that is choice. Yep, the C word. We have a choice, every single day to decide what our attitude towards the things that challenge us are. Or the things that fill us up… how we respond to those things. See, giving and showing gratitude amplify love. Offering forgiveness, even silently, amplifies love. Showing compassion, understanding, or saying a prayer for someone you do not like amplifies love. So, what I’m saying is that replacing typically titled fear behaviors with loving actions will almost completely diminish fear.

It’s something to really consider. It takes practice, like anything, but it is well worth it. Because, let’s face it, life offers enough storms that we have to maneuver, practicing our behavior around them changes every dynamic of getting to the other side of it. Fear will only emphasize the problem and make it longer and harder to get through. And that’s the minimum of the negativity around fear. Putting love, understanding and acceptance around it will diminish it, change it, require less energy, and let’s face it, emphasize feelings of love.

I wish I could explain the power in replacing fear with love. I mean how I feel praying for someone who I absolutely resent is so much more peaceful than harboring that negative emotion of disdain. So much more. Forgiving the person who flips me off in busy traffic is so much more calming than thinking continuous retaliating thoughts. Understanding that my boss has other frustrations taking place and that his attitude towards me, though unkind, doesn’t have anything to do with me. Those are all choices. That took practice. That allow my life to be filled up with love.

There is also an element of faith that is involved. I had faith that if I chose to live in love and not fear that my life would improve. I’m pleased to say that faith remains. Nothing is an exact science, and there will always (and I mean always) be bumps in the road, but when choosing a practice, something to practice…. love and positivity will always be a good choice…. the winning choice.

I’ll touch on this pertaining to work really quick because although I believe that all of the above enter into work too I wanted to be specific. Life is too short to be unhappy, fearful, stick to what feels safe, and worry about what others think. It’s a cliche saying, Life is too short, but really think about this for a sec…. We can either get busy living or get busy dying and I can tell you, straight up, that I did not get sober and healthy to make somebody else rich, pay bills, and die. So throwing fear and the need for safety to the wind is the answer. It just is. Living for weekends and vacations is not living. There’s more. I’m just saying, there’s more. If you love what you do then awesome! I mean truly… that is awesome! It’s so important. But if you’re not then make a change. It’s that whole choice piece that I talked so much about above. Negativity is a choice. But thank goodness so is positivity. Go with that one.