Here we go… One of my favorites… ALWAYS and NEVER. I always quit, I never cook, always, never, always, never. Ugh… It’s so final. Nothing is final. Do you feel me here? On a spiritual level, for sure. On an evolution level, totally. On a universal level, mmm hmmm. On an every day level, yep. Even if certain things are intellectually final, it’s still not a healthy place to reside. Saying I never cook implies that, well, I never cook. Which isn’t true in the first place, but psychologically sets me up to never learn to cook or like to cook by stating it so black and white as never. I always quit everything I’m good at. Ugh… that’s my pattern, for sure, but to state it with such finality leaves little room to change that pattern.
Two things… what we tell ourselves we generally end up believing. And what we think generally gets called into existence. So even if it is true that I normally quit things I’m good at, it would only serve me to stop talking about that in those terms. Rather saying the polar opposite in that I see things through. That is a much better place to reside in your mind.
A detrimental thing happens as we grow up… it’s so common and not what one would think as a problem, alas it is what allows us to see certain things as final. We, more times than not, get labeled or tagged as always being a certain way when we are children. Our parents talk about us with these attributes candidly as a way to sum us up. Sometimes with laughter, sometimes with frustration. But labeled with finality all the same. Think about it… in what ways were you labeled as a child? I was always late. A quitter. Terrible with money. And finally the black sheep. Guess how many of those things I carried into adulthood with me?? Yep… all of them. I’ve made conscience choices in the years since to change those things, but brought them with me I did.
It leads me to what this article is ultimately about… Let’s do always and never but let’s do it in a way that serves us by way of the universe and positivity. You feel me? I’m always successful. I’m always financially free. I’m always available to my children. I’m always an attentive wife. So, ok, there’s a finality to that too, but it’s less reckless. Those are things that we’re channeling and hoping to call into existence. Having a sense of finality in the area of positivity is not as detrimental as doing the always/never dance around things that hurt us or don’t serve us. And let’s face it, insulting or criticizing ourselves in the form of alwaysing or nevering is not just negative but toxic. It leads to more work in the self care, help, and healing arena. You bought into the negative always/nevers being thrown at you, try buying into the positive side, even if you have to fake it until you make it.
I say things every single day in the form of always that aren’t altogether true yet. But I believe them anyway. That, for the last ten years, has served me to call those things into existence OR made me much happier on my journey, rather than always making me bad and never being successful. Those lines of thinking only make life harder because negativity only breeds more of the same. It’s no different than anything else I talk about… it takes practice. The first step is not using those words at all. Replacing those words with other words altogether. No more always and never. At all. Ever. Then as things start to improve, because they will, then start adding always back in… but where it belongs. I always use the word always where it belongs. 😀
So, in conclusion, when you’re talking about yourself, get kind and get positive, because, yes, the universe is listening… but so are you.